As you probably know, the classical version of the Ant and the Grasshopper story goes
like this:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying
up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no
food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying
up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press
conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled
with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be that, in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association for the
Advancement of Green Bugs) shows up on
Nightline and charges the ant with "green bias", and makes the case that the
grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years of greenism. Kermit the Frog appears on
Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being
Green." Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS Evening
News to tell a concerned Dan Rather that they will do everything they can for the
grasshopper who has been denied the prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly
during the Reagan summers, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures of the
80's." Richard Gephardt exclaims in an interview with Peter Jennings that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the
ant to make him pay his "fair share". Finally, the EEOC drafts the
"Economic Equity and Anti-greenism Act," retroactive to the beginning of the
summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
government. Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare moms who can only hear cases on Thursday afternoon between 1:30 and 3:00 PM when there are no talk shows scheduled.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food
while the government house he's in -- which just happens to be the ant's old
house -- crumbles
around him since he doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
And on the TV, which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the ant's food, they are
showing Bill Clinton standing before a wildly applauding group of Democrats announcing
that a new era of "fairness" has dawned in America.
One of my many fans read this story, and offered a