As you probably know, the classical version of the Ant and the Grasshopper story goes like this:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so dies in the cold.
I offered an updated Ant-and-Grasshopper tale, which takes pot shots at the liberal policies of a Democratic president, to which one of my fans, S. Alexander, took exception, so he offered the following rebuttal:
Another of my many readers, Jim Keller, found this rebuttal hard to take, not so much because of its political views as its stretching of poetic license beyond the breaking point. So he stepped above the "Liberal vs. Conservative" fray to question the aptness of the insect analogy. Here's Jim Keller's take on the old fable.
The "Real" New Version
Despite constant attacks from the grasshoppers, the "leader" ants Clinton and now Kerry continue to work hard to make the house strong. Ant Clinton eliminates a staggering deficit left by grasshoppers Reagan and Bush Sr. and then builds a surplus of funds and a booming economy for all to enjoy, including grasshoppers. Many of the grasshoppers are jealous and relentless in their attacks on the ants.
Ant Kerry volunteers for active duty in Viet Nam, while grasshopper Dubya spends most of his time hopping around and partying and then disappears for months instead of reporting for duty. Grasshopper Dubya, the flying Floridian cockroaches, and the Supreme salamanders steal the 2000 election away from ant Gore and all the ants wanting the house to remain strong. Countless ants weep because they were not allowed to vote or their votes were "somehow lost."
The grasshopper, now the head of the house, declares himself to be a “war insect.” He quickly squanders the surplus budget and puts the house into an even worse deficit than that left by his father grasshopper. The ants in the house are so sad because they have less money, fewer jobs, higher taxes, little or no healthcare, dirty air, and many have lost their relatives in an unjust war.
When asked how history will view him, grasshopper Dubya simply replies, “What does it matter, we will all be dead.”
Difference between old and new versions: In old version, the grasshopper dies. In new version, we all die.
Moral of the story: Vote Democratic to make the house strong again!