Graeme −> Language −> Rants −> Fakes rant (page 1) 

Around the turn of the millennium, an event characterized mostly by millions of people learning to spell the word "millennium" (but I digress), there was an email going around that railed against "Fakes" — people who simulate realness, but are not, in fact, real.  Instead, they are empty shells, devoid of that essence, which the author of this rant (and, apparently, one other person in the whole world) possess.

A particularly interesting aspect of this rant about fakes is that it doesn't give the website of the author.  Instead it gives these search words which can be used to find the website: perfect theory endless desire eternal logic driving perpetual vision logical infinite dream final best escape objective thought only ambition clue perfection.  Of course, now that I've included them in this page, the people who receive this email will find my page instead of the author's page.  Unless this is the "real" page.  You decide.

 Fine print follows:

Mine is a perfect theory of endless desire for eternal logic driving perpetual vision in a logical, infinite dream that gives the final best escape from objective thought only through ambition.  It is your only clue to endless perfection.  Only by endless thought will you find the clue to the logic of the infinite perfection.  This way, you will dream the only perfect, "best and final" desire for the theory of ambition whose objectives escape ordinary vision while driving perpetual logical goals through eternal goodness.  My objective in writing this is only the infinite logical dream of eternal, endless perfection and perfect perpetual vision.  This final theory typifies my desire and ambition to prove that thought is the best logic and the only clue to help you escape driving California freeways.  Speaking of driving, perfect vision is the only endless clue that best typifies perpetual escape and signifies the ambition for final thought and desire of the infinite theory of perfection. To dream of eternal logical logic (as opposed to that illogical kind) is my objective.  To be clear, objective perfection is the only escape from dream thought.  Perfect logic is the theory of infinite ambition and it is also that final driving force for logical vision without the desire for any clue of perpetual knowledge of the best, endless, eternal thing.  Hark!  Escape the thought of ever finding the elusive clue to that final infinite logic and eternal perpetual vision which is driving your fruitless search for perfection.  Perfect wisdom is endless, and only desire and ambition will bring you closer to your objective of "dream theory" which is its own logical best.  Logical thought regarding the dream of eternal perfection is the only clue to the objective desire driving the theory that is the best perfect endless perpetual escape not from but to infinite vision of that logical final ambition.

If you took the trouble to read the fine print, then on the one hand I pity you, because it is meaningless.  But on the other had I admire you, because of your effort to find meaning in it.  As you may have guessed, I took the search arguments provided in the email (the one containing the rant, follow along!) and randomized their order several times, and then made apparently (best I could) meaningful sentences from those words.  Then, when the search engines' spiders come along and index this page, it will rank very high among those particular search words.  Who knows, perhaps, cynical as it appears on its face, this is the very page that email was pointing you towards.

Without further ado, here is the Rant about Fakes.