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How do you spell "fish"?

If GH stands for F as in cough,
if O stands for I as in women,
if TI stands for SH as in nation

then the right way to spell FISH should be GHOTI
--George Bernard Shaw

If GH stands for P as in hiccough,
if OUGH stands for O as in dough,
if PHTH stands for T as in phthisis,
if EIGH stands for A as in eight,
if TTE stands for T as in gazette,
if EAU stands for O as in plateau,

then the right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU.

(Other possible spellings of POTATO include GHOUGHPTEIGHBTEAU, GHOUGHPHTHEIGHBTEAU, GHOUGHPTEIGHTTEEAU, GHOUGHBTEIGHPTEAU, GHOUGHBTEIGHPHTHEAU, GHOUGHTTEEIGHPTEAU, and GHOUGHTTEEIGHPHTHEAU, where the "BT" sometimes sounds like T as in "debt", and the "PT" might sound like T as in "ptomain")

These words are often held up as examples of how difficult English spelling can be, but Jim Scobbie makes the argument that the examples illustrate just the opposite: If English spelling were really so awful, then Potato really would be spelled "ghoughbteightpteau"!

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