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Make the Pie Higher, A poem of collected bushisms

This is a poem made up of actual quotes from the leader of the Free World. The quotes have been arranged by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
   by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
1 know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher!


From the Whitehouse Website

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
--George W. Bush, August 5, 2004


From the Debates.org website.

You'll find transcripts of all the presidential debates, including the three Bush-Kerry debates in 2004.  During the second debate, the president was asked to name his three biggest mistakes:

GRABEL: President Bush, during the last four years, you have made thousands of decisions that have affected millions of lives. Please give three instances in which you came to realize you had made a wrong decision, and what you did to correct it. Thank you.

BUSH: I have made a lot of decisions, and some of them little, like appointments to boards you never heard of, and some of them big.

And in a war, there's a lot of -- there's a lot of tactical decisions that historians will look back and say: He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have made that decision. And I'll take responsibility for them. I'm human.

But on the big questions, about whether or not we should have gone into Afghanistan, the big question about whether we should have removed somebody in Iraq, I'll stand by those decisions, because I think they're right.

That's really what you're -- when they ask about the mistakes, that's what they're talking about. They're trying to say, "Did you make a mistake going into Iraq?" And the answer is, "Absolutely not." It was the right decision.

The Duelfer report confirmed that decision today, because what Saddam Hussein was doing was trying to get rid of sanctions so he could reconstitute a weapons program. And the biggest threat facing America is terrorists with weapons of mass destruction.

We knew he hated us. We knew he'd been -- invaded other countries. We knew he tortured his own people.

On the tax cut, it's a big decision. I did the right decision. Our recession was one of the shallowest in modern history.

Now, you asked what mistakes. I made some mistakes in appointing people, but I'm not going to name them. I don't want to hurt their feelings on national TV.

(LAUGHTER)

BUSH: But history will look back, and I'm fully prepared to accept any mistakes that history judges to my administration, because the president makes the decisions, the president has to take the responsibility.

So basically, he said that the three biggest mistakes he made were among the appointments to boards you have never heard of, including one major appointment of a person he prefers not to name so as not to embarrass that person on national TV.

Late-night TV jokesters quipped that his three biggest mistakes were agreeing to participate in the three debates.


From slate.msn.com (on a page no longer visible, alas).

"States should have the right to enact reasonable laws and restrictions particularly to end the inhumane practice of ending a life that otherwise could live."—Cleveland, June 29, 2000 (Thanks to Douglas Basford.)


"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."—Speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H. As quoted in the Los Angeles Times, Jan. 28, 2000


"I understand small business growth. I was one."—New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000


"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"—Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire, in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999


"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis."—Meet the Press, April 15, 2000


"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."— Financial Times, Jan. 14, 2000


"The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them."—From A Charge To Keep, by George W. Bush, published November 1999


"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000


"This case has had full analyzation and has been looked at a lot. I understand the emotionality of death penalty cases."--Seattle Post-Intelligencer, June 23, 2000 (Thanks to Johnny Green.)


"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."—In Los Angeles as quoted by the Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000 


"Reading is the basics for all learning."—Announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000 (Thanks to Carl LaRocca.)


"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."—Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000


"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"—Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000


"I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists."— —Newsweek, Feb. 28, 2000.


"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal—federal cufflink."—At Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000 


"Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads."—Fund-raising letter from George W. Bush, quoted in the Washington Post, March 24, 2000 


"I've got a reason for running. I talk about a larger goal, which is to call upon the best of America. It's part of the renewal. It's reform and renewal. Part of the renewal is a set of high standards and to remind people that the greatness of America really does depend on neighbors helping neighbors and children finding mentors. I worry. I'm very worried about, you know, the kid who just wonders whether America is meant for him. I really worry about that. And uh, so, I'm running for a reason. I'm answering this question here and the answer is, you cannot lead America to a positive tomorrow with revenge on one's mind. Revenge is so incredibly negative. And so to answer your question, I'm going to win because people sense my heart, know my sense of optimism and know where I want to lead the country. And I tease people by saying, 'A leader, you can't say, follow me the world is going to be worse.' I'm an optimistic person. I'm an inherently content person. I've got a great sense of where I want to lead and I'm comfortable with why I'm running. And, you know, the call on that speech was, beware. This is going to be a tough campaign."—Interview with the Washington Post, March 23, 2000 


"I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university."—Today, Feb. 23, 2000


"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.''—Quoted by Molly Ivins, the San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000 (Thanks to Toni L. Gould.)


And then I have these, with very little attribution, for your entertainment:

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." 
- George W. Bush 

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." 
- George W. Bush 

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." 
- George W. Bush 

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." 
- George W. Bush 

"The future will be better tomorrow" 
- George W. Bush 

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." 
- George W. Bush 

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." 
- George W. Bush 

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." 
- George W. Bush 

"Public speaking is very easy." 
- George W. Bush 

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." 
- George W. Bush 

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." 
- George W. Bush 

"For NASA, space is still a high priority" 
- George W. Bush 

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." 
- George W. Bush 

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." 
- George W. Bush 

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." 
- George W. Bush