Hospital Chart Writings by Doctors
(We're supposed to believe these are actual statements
made by doctors on medical charts.)
- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.

- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.

- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

- The patient refused autopsy.

- The patient has no previous history of suicides.

- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40
pound weight gain in the past three days.

- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

- She is numb from her toes down.

- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The skin was moist and dry.

- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she
got a divorce.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stock broker instead.

- Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on
the abdomen and I agree.

- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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