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Similes

Once I went to Philadelphia and saw the Liberty Bell.  I noticed right away that I couldn't see through it.  Now, whenever I see an object that is completely opaque, I call it "clear as a bell".

Thin things include Calista Flockhart (who, by the way is cuter than most buttons), a book of clever remarks by George W. Bush, etc., but not a rail.  In fact your average brick is thinner than train rails.  And there are a lot of flatter things than pancakes.

Is a horse really healthier than a dog, but not as fit as a fiddle?

What does a clam have to be happy about?

Picture this: Between games, the soccer ref has a pizza with the works.  Then after a rough game, I bet his whistle doesn't smell as fresh as a daisy.  Nor is it very clean, I imagine.

Most animals run around naked, so why single out the jaybird?

"Drum" and "Goose" are opposites; one is tight, and the other is loose.

"Nails" and "Pie" are opposites, too; one is tough, and the other is easy.

An owl is wiser than a whip, I would think, being that a whip is as dead as a doornail, but then why would a whip be smart (and a post dumb -- or deaf)?

Alliteration helps these similes, and that's lucky because they have nothing else to recommend them: cool cucumber, right rain, pleased punch, large life, sure shootin', thick thieves,

Why is lighting fast, yet a wink is quick (and not the other way around)?

There are slower things turtles, and lighter things than feathers, but no animal is slyer than a fox nor crazier than a bedbug.

Finally, I question whether dollars are sound, bones are dry, pins are neat, and kites are high.

Did I miss any?  Send me an email.  Then I will be pleased as — well, you know.