Graeme −> Funny −> Puns, jokes −> Phony phone calls 

The "I See OJ" Phony Phone Call

In ReasonMagLogo.gif (2729 bytes)Magazine, which is "Your online source of news and opinion from a dynamic, libertarian perspective" there is an article reviewing Howard Stern's book, Miss America.  The reviewer recalls a phony phone call that was played on the air. . .

The ultimate coup came when a caller got through to Peter Jennings of ABC News during the conclusion of O.J. Simpson's Bronco chase. While Simpson's truck was parked outside his Brentwood home, the caller got on by posing as one of Simpson's neighbors. The caller, as Stern tells it, "slipped into a thick black dialect that made Kingfish seem like a Rhodes scholar," complete with observations along the lines of "Oh, my Lord, this is quite tenses" and "Now lookee here, [O.J.] look very upset. I don' know what gon' be doin'." While such shenanigans are in undeniably bad taste, Stern correctly points out, as with Stuttering John's questions, that the media get what they deserve: "If Jennings wasn't a wooden Indian, he would have realized that this guy is a fake. First of all, his dialect was obviously phony. Second, a shucking and jiving black man is obviously not O.J.'s neighbor. All Jennings could see was his exclusive!"

You can hear this call in mp3 format.

Here is the entire text of the phony phone call:

Jennings: We have on the phone with us as well Robert Higgins, who lives in the neighborhood and is on the ground and can see inside the van. Mr. Higgins.

Caller: Ah, yeass, ah, how are you?

Jennings: Ah, just about as tense as you are, sir.

Caller: Oh, my Lord, this is quite tenses.

Jennings: What can you see?

Caller: Ah, what I'm lookin' at ri' now is I'm lookin' at the van, and I see OJ kinna' slouchin' down lookin' very very upset. Now lookee here, he look very upset. I don' know what gon' be doin'.

Jennings: Can you... can you... can you see him doing anything specific? Is he merely sitting there?

Caller: He is just a-sittin' 'round, you know, just a-lookin' like he be very nervous

Jennings: Can you hear anything, Mr. Higgins?

Caller: It's just too much commotion, I here in the back of a news van, so I can' really hear that goo' but I can see it all. An' I see OJ. I see OJ, man, and he looks scared. An' I would be scared 'cause there's cops all deep in this.

Jennings: Thank you, Mr. Higgins.

Caller: An' Bobba Bouey to y'all!

Jennings: The driveway of O. J. Simpson's home in Brentwood... Clearly an effort being made to have him come out of the vehicle... In the doorway of the house: his friend, Al Cowlings...

Michaels: Peter, by the way, just for the record, this is Al Michaels. That was a totally farcical call.

Caller: Ah!

Jennings: Ahm.

Michaels: Lest anybody think that that was somebody who was truly across the street that was not. He said something in code at the end that's indicative of the mentioning of the name of a certain radio talk show host.

caller: Ah!

Jennings: OK, thanks.

Michaels: He was not there.

Jennings: OK, we have them on every coast. Thank you very much.

The part that I find most amazing -- and I haven't heard anyone pick up on this -- is that even after Al Michaels explained to Peter Jennings that he'd been scammed, Peter still couldn't believe the caller wasn't really in Brentwood.  Peter said "we have them on every coast," meaning we have phony phone callers on the West Coast as well as on the East Coast.  If Peter had been thinking, he would have realized the caller could have been anywhere, and that it would be erroneous to conclude that this phony phone caller was on one coast or the other!